I spent a day at a start-up business event this week. I arrived expecting strategy, frameworks, maybe a new idea to take home. But the moment that stayed with me had nothing to do with the agenda. It happened in a split second between conversations, when I caught myself doing something the old me never did: I was speaking with calm certainty, not trying to earn my place, not performing, not shrinking. Just… there.
And that’s when the realisation hit with a force I wasn’t ready for.
I’ve been growing faster than the identity I’m still carrying.
It was almost embarrassing to admit. I’ve been so focused on catching up, improving, “getting ready,” that I didn’t notice I had already stepped into the room I once felt intimidated by. Not because the room got smaller. Because I stopped making myself smaller inside it.
The truth is uncomfortable: sometimes the only thing holding you back isn’t a lack of knowledge, discipline, or direction. It’s the outdated story you quietly insist on believing about yourself long after it stopped being true.
In that moment, I understood why this matters.
If I don’t update my identity, I risk building a life that belongs to a past version of me. And that is the most dangerous kind of success, the kind that traps you exactly when you think you’re finally rising.
THE ONE INSIGHT
There’s a moment you’ve probably felt recently without naming it. You handled something with a clarity or confidence the old you never had before, and then dismissed it as a coincidence.
It wasn’t.
It was evidence.
Most people mistake that slight friction or restlessness as a sign they’re behind.
Often, it means the opposite.
Your behaviour has already evolved. Your identity just hasn’t caught up yet.
And when you interpret new evidence through an outdated story, everything feels heavier than it should. Not because you’re unprepared, but because you’re judging yourself from the wrong version of you.
The shift begins when you stop asking, “How do I become that person?”
and start asking,
“What part of me is still pretending I’m not already becoming them?”
THE ACTION STEP
For the next 48 hours, pay attention to one thing: evidence.
Not your doubts.
Not your old stories.
Not the habits you’re trying to outgrow.
Just evidence.
Notice one moment where you act from the newer version of yourself, clearer, calmer, braver, more honest. It won’t look dramatic. It will look ordinary, but different.
Write one sentence that captures what that moment reveals about who you’re becoming. Not who you want to be. Who you already are.
Make one decision from that updated identity before the day ends. Not a big leap. Just a step that your older identity would hesitate to take.
That’s how identity actually shifts.
Not through ambition.
Through recognition.
You’re changing, even on the days it feels subtle.
The real work is learning to see it.
What’s one moment recently that showed you you’re already further along than you thought?
I’d genuinely love to hear it.
Before You Go
I’ve been writing these pieces in the quiet, between school runs, work, and late-night thinking, but I’ve started sharing more of the journey in real time too. The reflections, the systems, the messier parts of reinvention that never make it into the newsletter.
If you want to follow along, you’ll find me here:
Come say hi. It’s less about followers, more about finding the others who are doing the invisible work too.
If something in this email made you pause, think, or feel seen, send it to a friend who’s been quietly trying to make a change, too.
You never know what might land at the right moment. Link here.
And if you’d like early access to the eBook I’m writing, the real systems, mindset shifts, and habits that helped me lose 50kg and rebuild my health, you can join the waiting list here. “You’re not behind. You’re building, and that takes time.”
“The moment you stop shrinking, the room stops feeling intimidating.”