How to Set Resolutions You Actually Keep

I didn’t sit down on 1 January and start writing resolutions.

After doing the exercise I shared in the last newsletter, that just didn’t feel right. Once you’ve looked honestly at how the last year actually played out, where things worked, where they didn’t, what held up, and what quietly fell apart, it’s hard to pretend you’re starting from a blank page.

So I didn’t ask myself what I want to achieve this year.

I asked myself how I want this year to run differently.

That’s what led to the way I’m setting my resolutions now.

Most New Year’s resolutions fail because they’re built on optimism.

We decide who we want to be, then we try to force our lives to match that picture. But the audit made something very clear to me: the problem last year wasn’t a lack of ambition. It was the way my life was set up.

Some things worked because they fit the reality of my days.
Some things failed because they fought against it.

So this year, my resolutions aren’t about becoming a better version of myself.
They’re about changing the conditions I’m living in.

When you do that, behaviour changes almost automatically.

That’s the difference between a resolution you repeat every January and one you actually keep.

You are not a blank slate on 1 January.

You already have:

Your resolutions need to work with that reality, not against it.

Before anything else, write this sentence:
“This is the kind of year my life can realistically support right now.”

That sentence matters more than ambition.

After looking back at last year, this part matters more than people realise.

You need a clear idea of who you’re trying to be, otherwise every decision feels exhausting.

Think of it like this: if your year had a label, what would it be?

Not because it sounds good on Instagram.
But because it helps you act differently.

Some examples, just to get you thinking:

You can even think of it as a persona if that helps.
Not a fake one. A guiding one.

When you’re tired, busy, or unsure, you ask:
“What would this version of me do?”

If the answer isn’t obvious, the persona isn’t clear enough yet.

Write it down in one simple line.
You’ll come back to it more than you think.

One of the smartest shifts you can make is this: don’t treat the year like one long push.

Split it in half.

Use the first half of the year, January to the end of June, to find your rhythm.
Try things. Adjust. Pay attention to what actually fits your life instead of forcing what sounds good.

Then use the second half, July to December, to lean into what worked.
And quietly let go of what didn’t, without turning it into a big story.

It takes the pressure off January.
You’re allowed to figure things out before you go all in.

This is where people usually overdo it.
Instead of setting massive yearly goals, pick three simple goals per month.
That’s it. Three.

And they should come from real areas of life, like:

For example, January might look like:

The point isn’t transformation, but it’s momentum.

If a goal feels heavy or stressful, it’s too big.
You want things you can keep doing even when the month gets messy.

This is what actually holds everything together.
Pick a few things that just happen, without debate.
Not impressive habits, but the foundational ones.

Things like:

These aren’t goals you chase. They’re the ground you stand on.
When the basics are on autopilot, everything else feels lighter.

A few weeks ago, I shared a short book about my weight loss and health journey, and the identity shift that made it possible.

Not the routines or the rules, but the internal changes that had to happen for me to stop cycling and start moving forward. I’m mentioning it here for anyone new, or anyone who wants to understand the deeper work behind sustainable change.

I’ve been writing these pieces in the quiet, between school runs, work, and late-night thinking, but I’ve started sharing more of the journey in real time too. The reflections, the systems, the messier parts of reinvention that never make it into the newsletter.

If you want to follow along, you’ll find me here:

LinkedIn
Instagram
Website: orgesameli.com

Come say hi. It’s less about followers, more about finding the others who are doing the invisible work too.

If something in this email made you pause, think, or feel seen, send it to a friend who’s been quietly trying to make a change, too.
You never know what might land at the right moment. Link here.